The SD Yearbook
by White Meteor
Summary: The SD yearbook. Chapter 5 is up! Most Likely Reason to Fail their Finals.
1. Most Likely Occupation

Disclaimers: The characters do not belong to me but Inoue Takehiko.

A/N: This is a fic I decided to write just for the fun of it. Hope you guys enjoy read it and find it funny.

Bolded words are the job, in brackets () are notes, italicized words is the reason I think that job is suitable for them and square brackets [] is a scenario.

1. Occupation the SD Characters Will Most Likely Land

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Sakuragi:

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Co-founder of the "I hate Rukawa/Kitsune Club" (consist of 2 members)

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Co-founder of the "I'm a Tensai Club" (2 members as well)

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Fighter for illegal fighting (underground fighting? Whatever it's called) _duh, because he's a good fighter_

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Thief _ recall how he paid only ¥100 for the First Generation Michael Jordan sneakers. What else can you call him but a thief._

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Exhibit for "Why Chimpanzees are humans closest relative, with 99% identical DNA" 

[Tour Guide: Here we have an unusual specie. We are not sure what he is due to his unusual coloring. We seen a lot of monkeys with red bottoms (butts) but this one has a red head…

Hanamichi: Teme?!?! Get over here!!

Tour Guide: As you can see he is quite violent. Lets move on.]

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Akagi:

Monkey trainer _just look at how he tamed Sakuragi_

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Bouncer/bodyguard _look at him and tell me he's not intimidating_

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Exhibit for "The Superiority of Primates"

[Tour guide: And here we have the one of the main attractions. A gorilla that can perform calculus, algebra, and trigonometry

Akagi: Who are you calling a gorilla?!?

Tour guide: We better go before he gets really angry.]

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Ayako:

Model 

[*Ryota at the newsstand spots a magazine with Ayako on the cover* Ayako-chan *heart-shape eyes* I'll take the whole stack

*refuse to let _his_ Ayako be looked at by other men*

*runs off to another newsstand to buy all the magazines with Ayako in it*]

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Rukawa:

Person that performs autopsy _no speaking, no one the bother him, he can sleep all he wants_

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Spokesperson for Mattresses

[Commercial voice: Our mattresses is the best for…

Rukawa: Zzzzzz…

Commercial voice: See with our mattress you won't know what insomnia is.]

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Spokesperson for Sleeping Pills

[Commercial voice: Our sleeping pills really work just one pill and…

Rukawa: Zzzzzz…

Commercial voice: You're out just like that.]

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Extra for Movie (Role: dead corpse in the funeral hall) _he can sleep through the whole thing *L*_

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Fujima:

Drag Queen _because he looks so damn feminine_

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Hanagata:

Bodyguard of Fujima _can you imagine the weird psychopath Fujima will attract? I'm sure Hanagata will put his body on the line to save Fujima *L* Recall Hanamichi's 4th foul._

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Maki:

Monkey Tamer _he tamed Kiyota didn't he?_

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Spokesperson for those before and after thingies

[Picture of before, with the mole on his cheek.

Picture of after, without the mole on his cheek.

Ad: Our mole removal service really works. Look at Maki. He's the perfect example.]

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Kogure:

Negotiator _that's all he does in the series, trying to keep peace between Hanamichi and others._

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Uozumi:

Bouncer/bodyguard _he's even more intimidating than Akagi_

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Exhibit for "How Primates Compete with Each Other"

[Tour guide: This is a Akagi's rival ape. As you can tell he is trying very hard to match Akagi's wit, by reading. Unfortunately we can't put him as part of the "Superiority of Primates" exhibit because he doesn't have the intellect…

Uozumi *toss algebra book to the ground and rushes over, reaching his hands through the bar at the tour guide's neck*: Are you saying I'm not as good as Akagi?!?

Tour guide *backs away*: Run!!]

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Ryota:

Photographer _so he'd have an excuse to take pictures of Ayako_

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Successful Businessman like Bill Gates _how else can he buy all of Ayako's magazines? *S*_

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Kiyota:

Co-founder of the "I hate Rukawa/Kitsune Club" (the second member of the club)

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Co-founder of the "I'm a Tensai Club" (the second member of this club too)

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Exhibit for "Why Chimpanzees are humans closest relative, with 99% identical DNA" 

[Tour guide: And this here is the second primate of this exhibit. We have reason to believe he is a genius. Look at his hair. It resembles Einstein's, does it not? But this fact has yet to be proven. We plan to put this primate against Akagi.

Kiyota *runs over at bars and tries to grab the tour guide*: Who do you think you're calling primate!!

Tour guide *backs off*: Apparently one thing is clear. All primates are vicious, no matter the level of their intellect.]

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Sendoh:

Spokesperson for Hygiene Products

[Commercial voice: If you got teeth as pearly white as Sendoh's, you'd smile all the time too.

*Sendoh grinning at the camera*

Commercial voice: So use Colgate Whitening.]

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Spokesperson for Lemonade

[*Camera zooms in on Sendoh taking a drink*

Sendoh *makes a face*: Ooooh this lemonade is very sour, but soooooo goooooood.]

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Psychiatrist that Specialize in talking to Female Inmates _1. Female Inmates are more likely to forgive him for being late than a male inmate. 2. If any of them tries to kill him (like how Taoka wants to sometimes) the guards will rescue him. 3. Not like they're in a hurry to go anywhere, or have anything better to do than wait for him._

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Coach Anzai:

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Santa Claus at the Mall _His size and big tummy that Hanamichi likes to hit and his favorite words "Ho, ho, ho" Just in time for X-mas too. The mall is hiring._

End of the SD Character's Most Likely Occupations.


	2. Most Unlikely Occupation

Most Unlikely Occupations for Our SD Characters

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Mitsui

Spokesperson for Hygiene Products

[Commercial Voice: Do you want teeth as…

Ryota: How dare you look at Ayako-chan!

A can of coke accidentally hits Mitsui in the face and he's bleeding as front teeth falls out.]

__

He must have flimsy teeth if they keep falling out after a punch by Ryota, right? Recall Mitsui with his 2 front teeth missing before rejoining Shohoku.

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Model for "The Thinker" _imagine 'the thinker' not sitting on a rock but on the toilet, oh that's soooo tasteful, ne? (he does most of his thinking in the john, recall pre-match with Shoyo) _

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Rukawa (basically any job that requires attention or requires him to stay awake isn't suitable for him but here are some examples)

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Priest/Pastor 

[Rukawa is delivering an eulogy as the casket is slowly lowered into the ground.

On the side, Rukawa's brigade: RU-KA-WA! RU-KA-WA! L-O-V-E, RU-KA-WA!

Person lowering the casket downs it, lid pops open.

Screaming, shouting, cheering.

Rukawa: Baka.]

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Electrician

[Rukawa's fixing the wiring and has fallen asleep. Drooling. Drool falls on wiring. The house burns down.

"…"]

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Actor (non-corpse and has lines to speak) _recall first meeting with Hanamichi "My name's Sakuragi Hanamichi. Remember it." "I forgot already"_

[Director *ruffling his hair until it looks like Kiyota*: Fine! One more time!

The guy that does that board clicking thingie: Act 1, Scene 1. Take 574.

Rukawa *rubbing eyes and yawn*: Time to go?

Director goes crazy: That's not the line!! The like is OHAYOU GOZAIMASU!!! *goes and jumps out window*

Guy that does the board thingie is very happy because his hand aches.

Rukawa thinks to self _'It's morning?'_]

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Sendoh

Doctor/Surgeon

[Sendoh snaps on latex gloves: Alright. Lets begin.

Assistant: You're 3 hours late! The heart for the transplant is useless now.

"…"]

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Chef

[Pours wine onto the pan (I can't remember the name where they make the big fire). Flames rise. A spark touches his hair.

Boom!

Sendoh with a burnt face and afro hair.]

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Lifeguard

[Sendoh spots the director that jumped out of the window and landed in the water and is drowning. Runs to the water with lifesaver. Pause. Sendoh thinks _Damn, my hair took me 2 hours to do. If I get it wet…_

Swims very slowly towards the Director, hanging onto lifesaver to avoid getting his hair wet.

Director drowns.]

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Uozumi

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Male Nurse at Old Folks Home

[Uozumi: Konnichiwa, I'll be your nurse.

Old woman who's hearing and eyesight aren't that good: Honey why don't you come closer so I can see you better? And would you mind speaking up dear?

Uozumi walks over and shouts: KONNICHIWA, I'LL BE YOU NURSE!

Old woman dies of heart attack.] _Told you he was intimidating_

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Paramedic

[Sendoh just rescue the Director and is trying to get him to breathe.

Uozumi: Let me through. I know first aid.

Uozumi applies CPR. Pumping director's heart. Nasty sound of ribs cracking.

"…"]

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Coach Taoka

Professional Biker _*snicker* can you imagine him sitting on those things? It would totally remind him of when Hanamichi poked his hands up his ass (Ryonan Shohoku Practise Match). He thinks about it sitting on a cushiony seat (recall Shohoku's match with Shoyo)._

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Hanamichi

Sports Med _recall Rukawa in the practise match with Ryonan. His method for healing Rukawa is to kick him_

[Football player: I think I sprained my ankle.

Hanamichi: Don't be a wuss. *kick*

The cracking sound is drowned by the football player's hollering.]

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Babysitter

[Hanamichi ask kid that resembles Rukawa: Hey, are you that Kitsune's son?

Kid giggles: You're funny looking.

Hanamichi with flashing eyes: What did you say?

Kid: A funny looking monkey.

Bang.

Kid unconscious, suffering possible brain damage with bump on the head. Learns never to laugh again.]

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Singer

[Hanamichi at audition for Pop Stars.

Ex-Director (has changed jobs and yes he's alive): Go ahead.

Hanamichi sings his tensai song.

Glass breaks and eardrums rupture.]

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Hikoichi

Teacher 

[Student: Aida-sensei why do turtles all migrate to the place they were born? How do they know?

Hikoichi pulls out his trust notebook: Let me check 

Flips through it, info not found.

Hikoichi whips out his trust pen: So Shita where exactly do they migrate, approximately how many every time, do males migrate too?

Students fall over in chibi form.]

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Ryota

Spokesperson for Height Products _obvious reason_

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Helicopter Pilot

[Passenger: I believe we're suppose to be going the other way.

Ryota: Don't worry. Ayako's house is nearby and I just want to say hi (got that from Rat Race).

Passenger: Who?

Ryota with heart shaped eyes: Ayako-chan…

Passenger screaming.

Crashes into the ex-Director's house.

Ryota: Oooops, I hope Ayako-chan didn't see that.

"…"]

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Maki

Model for Teen Magazine

[Girl 1: Eeeew, this guy looks like my father.

Girl 2: Come on. He's a bit old but at least he's got a nice bod.

Girl 1 whips out a picture of a man identical to Maki except with streaks of white in his hair.

Drops magazine and runs off to wash eyes.]

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Kiyota

Librarian _he'll probably be the loudest person in the library and imagine his hair in a tight bun _

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Info Desk at the Mall _recall Shohoku's match with Shoyo and how he went to the wrong locker room_

[Ex-director: So this is the way to the real-estate agency?

Kiyota: Yeah, yeah follow the instructions.

Ex-director follows the scribbles to a dark room. Search for light switch.

Voices: Don't close that door!!

Ex-director who's deaf now can't hear. Bang, door closed.

Voice: Oh crap. You followed that crazy hair guy's instruction, huh? Now you're trap with us here.]

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Coach Anzai

Lifeguard for Baywatch _can you imagine him running in swim trunks like those Baywatch dudes during the Theme song? *shudders*_

End of Most Unlikely Jobs


	3. Most Unlikely Cause of Death

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Most Unlikely Cause of Death

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Ayako

Murdered by Ryota

[Ayako is getting married. Ryota plans on killing her.

Ryota thinks to self _If I can't have her no one can. _Goes into Ayako's dressing room with knife in pocket.

Ayako: Ryo…why are you here?

Ryota heart shape eyes: Aya-chan…

Ryota decides he can't kill her, after all she is his Aya-chan: Nothing…you look so lovely today…

Ryota hides knife and decides he's going to go kill the groom instead. Runs out.

Ayako: …]

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Hikoichi

Nagged to Death

[Hikoichi's wife: Didn't I tell you to put the toilet seat back down when your done?

Hikoichi search through notebook: Nope. You told me to wash my hands after I use the washroom. Mop up the wet floor after I shower. Roll the toothpaste from the bottom. Put…

Hikoichi's wife: …

After 5 minutes Hikoichi: Maybe it's in my old notebooks…]

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Rukawa

To Die of Thirst _He drools every time he sleeps, and he sleeps all the time. Bottle up what he drools and well you got an endless water source though I'm not sure how much you'd want to drink that. Plus he conserves his saliva by not talking._

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Attack by Grizzly Bear (Grizzly Bears won't eat you if you play dead)

[A pack (?) of grizzly bears come and raid Shohoku's campsite.

Everyone runs and bears chase them and kills most of them.

Rukawa: Zzzzzz…

Grizzly bear roars and begins pawing at Rukawa.

Rukawa is being rolled around like a rag doll: Zzzzzz…

Grizzly bear determines Rukawa is dead and leaves him alone.]

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Coach Anzai

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Starving to Death _look at him. He has so much fat reserve. Like a camel except it's all on his belly and not back. Plus he's always in a hibernation like state (people on Ryonan's team thought it was a cardboard cut out *L*) I'm sure he can survive the entire winter without food._

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Sendoh

Being Killed by Crazy Monkey's Throwing Coconuts and Fruit

[Sendoh has gotten separated from Team Ryonan in the jungle. Monkeys screeching. Feels head getting heavy. Touch hair. Pulls out a coconut.

Shrugs. Drinks the juice from the hole in the coconut ( hole was caused by his spiky hair).

Is hungry now. Feels that head is still heavy than usual.

Pulls out some bananas that has as many holes as Swiss cheese.

Sendoh wonders 'Are there any lemons stuck in my hair? Cause I got a craving for some.'

Sendoh begins searching his hair]

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Starving to Death in Jungle _obvious reason isn't it? His hair is a fruit trap. *S*_

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Haruko

Murdered by Hanamichi _Read Ayako's (just switch her name with Ayako and Ryota with Hanamichi)._

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Die because she's Heartbroken _If she's going to die because of that she should be dead a long time ago. Does Rukawa even know her name?_

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Akagi

Dying from Embarrassment _he survived being butt naked in a gymnasium full of people didn't he? _(Butt naked not stark naked *shudders*)

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Attack by Overprotective Female Gorilla

[Team Shohoku walks in forest, runs across a baby gorilla. Hanamichi goes and bugs it. Mother gorilla attacks. Everyone runs for their lives and a lot are killed.

Mother gorilla traps Akagi and suddenly her vicious eyes change to heart-shaped ones.

Akagi: …

Mother gorilla grabs Akagi and begins kissing him.

"…"]

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Hanamichi

Death from any Head Trauma or Injury

[Hanamichi driving car without seat belt. Spots Haruko waving at him. Waves back eagerly with both hands. BAM!! Hit's a cement building. Flies out the windshield and through the wall.

Hanamichi gets out and rubs head: Stupid wall!

Headbutts the wall which is reduced to rubble.

Runs out to find his Haruko-chan]

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Being Eaten by Bears or Killed by Angry Gorilla _Why? Is it not obvious? Because he can run so fast. His friends and team mates will surely be eaten before him._

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Kiyota

Bored to Death

[Kiyota's imagination:

__

Kiyota looked at Sendoh, Rukawa, and Sakuragi who have shrunken to his height: Bring it on you 3.

Sendoh coming at him. He easily steals the ball from Sendoh and passes the super rookie Rukawa, he then proceeds to dunk on Hanamichi's head.

Kiyota: What do you 3 have to say now?

Hanamichi: You are the true genius.

Rukawa: The true super rookie.

Sendoh: I lost to you but I don't mind losing to such a handsome, wise, talented player.

Kiyota: Nyahahahaha.]

__

A guy with such a vivid imagination won't die of boredom.

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Fukuda

Being Suffocated by Crazy Fans

[The SD characters are having an autograph signing. There is a lot of pushing, shoving, groping, kissing, yelling and such going on.

Rukawa's fans: Get away from him!! I want his drool!! I'm sleeping beside him! You get away!!

Hanamichi's fans: Awwww, I love your fuzzy monk haircut!! It looks so cute!! Can I touch it?!

Ryota's fans: I love you Ryo-kun!! Dump that stupid violent Ayako and go out with me!!

Kogure's fans: You're so cute!! Can I have you glasses as a souvenir? Please!!

Anzai's kiddie fans that still believe in Santa Claus: This is sooooo cool! Your stomach can do the wave!! And it's soooo bouncing. Can I jump on it?! Lay down!! I want to use it as a trampoline. 

Maki's middle age fans: I just looooove mature men. And you're so well built too…soooo sexy!!

Hikoichi's note taking fans: You think I can look at your notebook and compare it with mine?!! Please Hiko-kun….

(You get the point every has fans. Yes, even Hikoichi and Anzai)

Fukuda's couple of fans that are dressed goth like (Fan 1 in a low voice): So you're Kicchou Fukuda, huh?

Fukuda: Yes.

Fan 2 in a not quite awaken voice: You think you can give me and my cousin your autograph?

Fukuda: I guess. Where shall I sign?

Fan 1 holds out a pen: My hand. It's permanent, water proof ink.

"…"]

__

The End of Most Unlikely Cause of Death


	4. Most Likely Cause of Death

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Most Likely Cause of Death

Mitsui

Beaten to Death by Gangsters _because he promised Anzai-sensei to not fight_

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Murdered by Sensei's Psychotic Fiancée (1 'e'?) (I'm sorry but he's the only one that I know of that failed (school) and was held behind for an extra year)

[Mitsui failed gr. 12, 6 times.

Aoi (Mitsui's young, pretty sensei): This is my fiancé, Yamada Ginta. And this is Mitsui Hisashi.

Mitsui smirks: Hi, fiancé Yamada Ginta. See you tomorrow Aoi. Ja.

After Mitsui leaves.

Pyschotic crazy overprotective (like Ryota) fiance: Who was that? Is he the guy you're always seeing?

Aoi: Yes, but I'm only seeing him because he's just my student.

Ginta thinks to self _'Student?! He's like 23. I won't let anyone take Aoi-chan away from me. I'm going to have to kill him.'_]

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Rukawa

Being Eaten by a Pack of Wolves

[After Grizzly bear leaves him alone, a pack or wolves come along.

Leader wolf sniffs and nudges Rukawa.

Rukawa: Zzzzzz…

Leader wolf lets out a howl (translated from wolf language to English): I think this guy is dead. Looks like the bears left this behind.

"…"]

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Akagi

Torn Apart by Dozens of Crazed Female Gorillas

[(translated from gorilla speech to English)

Female 1 grabbing onto Akagi's waist: He's mine. I found him first! Stay away!!

Female 2 grabbing onto one of Akagi's arm: I want him!!

Female 3 grabbing onto a leg: I don't' care who he belongs to right now. He will be mine!!!

Akagi crying in pain: Arghh ah ouuu maaa!!! (Let got of me!!!)

Female 2: See he says he loves me!]

__

If that doesn't kill him…

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Killed by Alpha Male Gorillas

[2 male gorillas appear. They exchange looks. They shout and pound their chest, when female gorillas ignore them, they run at Akagi and hauls him away.

Akagi: Thanks for rescuing me from those crazy gorillas.

Gorilla cracks knuckles.

"…"]

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Hanagata

Being too Protective of Fujima

[Walking on the side of the mountain.

Fujima: My necklace.

Hanagata: Huh?

Fujima: I just dropped my necklace down there.

Hanagata: I'll get it.

Fujima: No, it's ok. It's just a necklace. It looks really dangerous…

Hanagata: No problem Fujima-san.

Climbing down cliff, climbing…ooops he slipped…]

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Attacked by Gorillas (because he wears glasses) (hey I'm not killing Kogure, and I don't know the name of that shrimpy guy in Kainan)

[Trees break his fall, but he also breaks his glasses. Spots 2 figures ahead of him. Squints.

Hanagata thinks to self _'Oh, it's Uozumi and Akagi.'_

Goes up and pats them on the shoulder: I'm so glad to see you 2. Can you help me back up to the top? I can't see very well without my glasses.

Hanagata things to self _'Boy, they sure are hairy.'_

Gorilla pulls him aside and…what happened to Akagi happens to him

"…"] 

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Uozumi

Accidentally Slips on some Fruit/Vegetable Peels (recall how he was able to pull a vegetable out of nowhere and begin peeling it on Akagi's head during the Sannoh match)

[Uozumi wakes up. Gets out of bed and slips on a banana peel. Walks to the washroom and slips on a piece of watermelon.

Uozumi to self _'I got to clean up the house.'_

1 hour later with a sparkling floor he moves on to the second storey of his house. Holding a pail of water, vegetable and fruit peelings, a mop and a broom he starts doing down the stairs.

Slips on a pile of apple peels.

*Crash* *Bam* *nasty sound of something breaking*

"…"] 

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Hanamichi

Offending One too Many People by Giving them Stupid Nicknames

[Akagi, Mitsui, Uozumi, Maki, Coach Taoka, Coach Takato, and others team up to get revenge on Hanamichi. So they invite Hiei to their school.

Hanamichi bumps into Hiei.

Hiei looking at him coldly: Apologize.

Hanamichi: Nwahahahaha, it's not my fault you're so short. I didn't mean to walk into you. Why you're even shorter than Ryota. Hahahahaha.

Hiei: What did you say, baka?

Hanamichi: Who are you calling baka, Shorty?! Oh, I know why you're so angry because you are jealous of the tensai's height.

Hiei: You will regret that.

Hanamichi: Nwahahahaha, what are you going to do, Shorty?

Hiei gets ready to use Jaou Ensatsu Kokuryuhaa.]

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Koshino

Dies from Hunger (because he place too much trust in Sendoh's fishing ability)

[Finds Sendoh in the Jungle.

Koshino: I'm hungry.

Sendoh pulls a banana from his hair: Here you can eat this.

Koshino: No! I'd rather die and it's probably poisoned by your hair gel.

Sendoh: Ooooh, look a river. I could fish.

Koshino knowing Sendoh loves to fish and is probably good at it, nods: Ok you can fish us food.

Sendoh pulls out a fishing rod.

3 days later Koshino falls over.

Sendoh shakings him: Wake up! Wake up!

Suddenly it comes to Sendoh: Duh! I forgot the bait. No wonder the fishes weren't biting.

"…"]

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Sendoh

Internal Bleeding _lemons are acidic and lets face it with all the lemons he sucks on his stomach lining must've broken down_

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Parachuting (because he's always late)

[Instructor: Remember to pull the chute when you're around 2000ft.

Sendoh: How will I know?

Instructor: See this here? It will tell you. But if you can't see because the wind is in your eyes, pull the chute after 30 seconds.

Sendoh: Hai.

Sendoh jumps out the plane and starts counting _slowly_: One, one thousand. Two, one thousand…

Sendoh thinks to self _'The ground looks awfully close, but I'm only at 21 seconds. Should I pull? Nah, 9 more seconds to go.'_

*splat* (guess he pulled the chute too late)]

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Hikoichi

Activating Bomb (curiosity killed the cat, right?)

[Hikoichi finds a package outside the door but it's not to him. It's to…Fukuda. Curiously shakes the package.

Hikoichi thinks to self _'If I open it carefully and rewrap it no one will know.'_

Opens package. It's a bomb.

"…"

Shrugs and beings taking notes on it's color, weighing it, measuring it.

Wonders to self _'Why is there no activation switch or timer? This is peculiar. Got to do research'_

Then like those Guinness judges, he begins tapping the thing all over with his pencil.

BOOM!] 

__

End of Most Likely Cause of Death?


	5. Most Likely Reason to Fail Their Finals

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SD Most Likely Reason to Fail their Finals

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Rukawa hands in a soggy, black sheet of paper

[Rukawa looks at the math questions and yawned thinking to self, '_This is way too easy.'_

*scribble* *scribble* *scribble*

Rukawa looks at the last 5 point question. Yawns, eyes get watery and decides, _'This one last question. I can do it la...'_

Attack by the sleep demon and doesn't even finish that thought: Zzzzzzz…

*drooling* *drooling* *still drooling*

1 hour 30 minutes later:

Teacher: Ok everyone hand in your exams. NOW!

Rukawa wakes up and wipes his wet cheek. Looks at his ink smeared test paper. Nothing is visible just a big blotch of black ink.

"…"]

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Ryota hands in an Aya-chan paper

[Ryota looks at the multiple choice essay question, _'The man that found out how genetic material is passed on from generation to generation using the flowers of pea plants was: A. Dar... A? 'A' doesn't stand for Darwin. It stands for Ayako-chan…'_

Eyes immediately scans the gym and finds _his _Aya-chan: Aya-chan…

Teacher: No talking during the exam or you will be failed.

Ryota gulps: Hai.

Continues to stare at his Aya-chan with those heart shape eyes and thinking, _'Aya-chan...'_

1 hour 50 minutes later:

Teacher: Time is up. Everyone hand in your exams.

Ryota looks away from Ayako and down at his paper which was covered with the word **_Aya-chan_**, _'Did 2 hours go by that quickly?'_]

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Hanamichi didn't write his name on the paper

[Hanamichi looks at the essay questions and laughed silently, _'Nyahahahahaha. These questions can't stop the tensai.' _

Essay topics: Write a comparative essay on any 2 novels read this year and analysis how beauty is determined or defined. 

Hanamichi thinks to self, '_Nyahahahahaha, I will do this one. It sounds easy enough.'_

After 2 intense of hours of scribbling, writing, proofreading, rewriting, Hanamichi was finally done.

Teacher: Hand in your test.

Hanamichi quickly writes his name on the front page _Tensai Rebound King/Professional Writer._]

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Sendoh never got around to doing it but not because he was late

[Sendoh smiles and looks at the multiple choice test feeling very proud of himself because he studied for the final and got here with time to spare. Reads the first question, _'What are inert gases? Is it A. … Oh, I remember this. Let me think…'_

Runs his hand through his hair, _'Right. It's B.'_

Begins shading in B, but finds his hand is stuck to the sheet of paper. Pulls the paper free and attempts to continue shading in B, but realize that his HB pencil is covered in his hair gel and he's just smearing gel over the Scartron. Sighing he decides to change pencils but the pencil is glued to his hands…

After 2 hours of wrestling with the paper and pencil and erasers:

Teacher: Time's up.

Looks at his sticky, blank Scantron.]

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Ayako she lost her exam paper

[Ayako looked at the essay questions and after 10 minutes making a rough outline she begins to write.

Hears the Sakuragi guntai beside her muttering and cheating but decides to ignore them. A piece of paper flies in front of her from Anozumi to Youhei. This happens a couple of times. She does her best to ignore it and finish writing her essay. 

1 hour 54 minutes later:

A balled up sheet of paper hits her on in the head and she can't stand it any longer. She search for her fan, but can't find it because she wasn't allow to bring paper in or it'll be consider cheating. Another ball of paper hits her in the head. Folds the sheets of paper in front of her into a fan and glance around making sure the teachers weren't looking her way, before whacking Sakuragi's guntai senseless.

Pause and looks at her empty hand, _'My fan must've flew out of my hand in the hitting process. Oh, well.'_

Teacher: Hand in your exam please.

Looks at her empty desk, _'UGH!!! MY ESSAY!!!!'_]

****

Akagi got kicked out for vicious assault

[Looks at his Chemistry exam and smiles, _'I studied all of last night. I'm going to ace this exam.'_

Begins filling his Scantron feverishly. 25 minutes later he is done.

He hears snickering around him: Wow, look at how fast _Gori_ finished his Chem exam.

Another voice: That's why he's the famous genius _Gori_.

Akagi hiss to the Sakuragi guntai: Stop calling me Gori or I will kill you.

Youhei: We really should stop. _Gori _sounds mad and you know how terrifying _Gori _can be. Even Hanamichi is afraid of him.

Akagi goes and gives them each a whack on the head.

Teacher: Akagi! I can't believe you would do such a thing during an exam. Get out. It's obvious you don't respect authority or others.

Akagi: B…But…

Teacher frowns: Out now! And you will be getting a 0 for the final.

"…"]

****

Hanamichi Guntai stupidity and laziness

[Anozumi was sitting next to Akagi and could see all his answers. Smiling, _'I heard Gori's really good at school. I can just copy his answers and I'm sure to ace it.'_

Yohei throws him a piece of paper that says: _What are you grinning at?_

Anozumi: _Gori. I can see his answers. Nuh-ha-ha_

Yohei: _No fair. Tell me, too or else I'll tell the teacher on you._

Another note comes flying this one is from Sauichiro: _What are you 3 discussing?_

Yohei gets a note from Yuji: _If you 2 are cheating you better include me. After all, 3 heads are better than 2, right?_

2 hours later they're still rubbing their heads from the bonk on the head Akagi gave them but luckily Anozumi finished copying all of Akagi's answers before he got kicked out. Anozumi has also distributed it to his 3 friends to copy but apparently they all forgot Akagi is doing Chem 30 (3 year) and they're just doing Chem 10.]

****

Hikoichi didn't get around to writing his essay

[Glance at the essay topics, _'Hm, which one should I do? I know! I'll write notes about each and analysis which one I can make the best and longest argument.'_

Begins jotting down all the points he can remember about the stories whether it's characters, the plot, the setting, the author, even publish date.

2 hours later:

Teacher: Time's up everyone. Please hand in your exams.

Hikoichi look at the 10 pages of notes he has, regarding the 14 novels they read in class but there was no essay.

"…."]

****

Jin because a very crazy, criticizing, and motherly teacher

[Looks at the essay topic and begins writing his essay. Everything goes according to plan and he finishes with time to spare and after proofreading he hands it in.

English teacher gets to his paper and begins marking:

Reads Jin's name and thinks to herself, _'Ah, Jin-kun's paper. My daughter is going to be in 2nd year, next year. Very possibly in this class. Hmmmm, I really want to introduce her to Jin. He would make such a good son-in-law. I got to make him stay. Ooooh, that period looks like a comma, half a mark off. Ah-ha, he forgot to dot the 'i', another half a mark off. He didn't cross that 't' completely, another 0.5 off. My daughter will see him for sure. Maybe I should fail some of the ugly girls too, so he realize how beautiful my daughter is._

Teacher continues to subtract marks for the most absurd things.]

****

Kiyota accused of cheating and got kicked out

[Kiyota frowned looking at the social questions. It wasn't that it was hard but he found it so hard to think. Ponders for a long time and finally realize what's wrong, _'Duh, it's because I'm so use to thinking while I'm resting my elbows on someone's shoulders.' _(He always makes Jin pedal and he stands there resting on Jin's shoulders, right?)

Gets up and puts his elbows on the guy in front of him and look straight ahead, _'Question number 1, answer is C.'_

Guy mutters: Get off me.

Kiyota: Quiet! Stop disturbing me. Jin-sempai never complains.

Teacher walks over: Kiyota what do you think you're doing?

Kiyota gives him an confused look: Doing the exam, of course.

Teacher: No you are copying someone's test. I'm afraid I have to fail you.

Kiyota: B…But…

Teacher: No buts!]

****

Maki the teacher did not recognize him as one of his students

[Maki yawns tired from all that cramming he's been doing the entire weekend. Looks at the Physics questions and smiles, _'All that studying wasn't for nothing. I actually know how to do these questions.'_

*scribbles* *scribbles* *scribbles*

1 hour 15 minutes later:

Maki goes to the teacher to hand in the exam.

Teacher: Who are you?

Maki: I'm Maki. Maki Shinichi.

Teacher: What do you take me for? And idiot? You're not Maki. For one thing, he's a neat person, that always tries to look presentable and two, you look way older than him. You look 53.

Maki frowns and rubs his chin and understands: Oh, no. You misunderstood. I didn't have time to shave this morning or to take a shower, so my hair is a bit messy and I got some fuzz growing on my chin.

Teacher getting angry: Don't lie to me! 17 year olds don't have get facial hair and you look a good 20 years older than him. Go home and tell your son getting his dad to come in and do his final physics exam is not allowed!]


End file.
